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Published July 15th, 2005 | by Raam Tarat

Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya Review

Classification: PG Director: David Dhawan Rating: 1.5/5

No brainer, masala trash, ham it up… get familiar with these phrases as they pretty much summate Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya, and it’s the best Parma this side of Milan. On the one hand you can see it as a fun and breezy popcorn movie, on the flipside you have an insult to the senses, of monolithic proportions.

It’s the tale of Orthopaedic specialist Dr Samir Malhotra [Salman] in a quandary as he’s literally fighting women off his recliner whilst giving them the once over, and telling them he’s married. His stunning secretary Naina [Sen] is ever at his beck and call, juggling everything from his patients, to his favourite Thai food, to hiding his previous girlfriend’s underwear…

The confusion starts when he falls in love with one of his ‘flings’ Sonia [Kaif]. Like a baby that chucks its bottle out of the pram when it’s not happy, Sonia attempts to commit suicide any time Samir upsets her, either that or she’s pilfering her employer’s designerwear and stuffing it into friend’s handbags, literally. She also thinks he’s married, that too to Naina. So begins the comedy of errors which tests your patience more than the person sitting next to you talking through the film. And when their conversation seems to have more substance than what’s before you, you know something’s not quite right.

The problem with this type of movie quite simply is that there’s no substance to keep you engaged. It’s often said you need to “leave your brain at home” to enjoy this type of movie, but unfortunately that is physically impossible for me (and many others I’m sure) to achieve… This is a poor remake of Cactus Flower [1969] and one can view it as a comedy of errors, but unless the writing is watertight and witty in the utmost, the end result can be excruciatingly painful to watch. Possibly the Bollywood equivalent of a frat movie / Benny Hill hybrid, just less funny. Don’t get me wrong, the film has its moments – but not nearly enough to justify its 145 minute running time. It is slapstick for the ‘masses’, but when the ‘masses’ it’s catering for is constituted by the lowest common denominator, in a substantially illiterate India, it wont satisfice a lot of people.

It relies on top-grade stars to carry the movie on their name alone. Give it a high-gloss allure, a couple of foot-tapping tracks, nice locales like the Maldives and Dubai, and in theory you have a good film?? Wrong – If you have a good script (or any script at all) you have a film, otherwise you have something resembling this. As in all cartoons the characters here are two-dimensional and utterly unbelievable. Salman’s facial muscles must have tried every contortion know to man, aided in his buffoonery by real life brother Sohail. Warsi whilst under-utilised, is the saving grace of the film with a relaxed performance and all the best one-liners. The courtroom scene with ‘Bolly’ extras, and the Maa-in-law from hell is hilarious. Former Miss Universe Sen looks voluptuous, and Kaif in her debut seems extremely confident, though in awe of [real life beau] Salman in her scenes with him.

Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya looks glossy, the casting is fresh, and it has fantastic songs taken to another level by brilliant choreography [Farah Khan – dir. Main Hoon Naa]. Dhawan goes to great lengths in spinning this yarn, but unfortunately it gets way out of control very early on. This film seems to want to justify the myth that beautiful people are dumb as hell; and succeeds royally. And the continuity guy needs to be shot, as I’m still traumatised by the fact Salman’s sideburns change length 4 times in the climax.

In theory you aren’t meant to think or understand, just ‘laugh’ at this over the top exaggerated parody. The film is fun, bright, mindless, yet bubbly and to be appreciated in that vain, if at all. Recommendation: Watch anything else.

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